I've been pretty open about my worship and connection to Divinity. I am a polytheist and for nearly twenty years I was a Goddess only polytheist. There are several Goddesses that I am dedicated to and work with in deeply personal devotional ways. I have worked with many different Gods over the years, but not on a devotional level. For many years I didn't take my God worship beyond a first date. I wasn't interested in going any further than that. When digging into my ancestry a few years ago, a Norse God came into my life and I figured, eh, I'll give Him a shot. That relationship has deepened and expanded me in ways I didn't expect, but I certainly wasn't looking for another God to come into my life...
And yet, here I am writing this post about another God. This past month I was blessed to teach at CloudCatcher Witchcamp; which takes place over Easter weekend just outside of Brisbane Australia. This year the camp worked with the Greek God Dionysus. I knew of this God, we had met before. I knew his stories and his connections to some of the other Goddesses that I am in relationship with. I found him alluring and interesting, but more in a academic kind of way and not really as a personal lover.
Months before camp I started to work with Him. I read His stories from lots of different sources, I looked at images of Him, both historical and artistic, I felt His energy, but gently and only from the edges. He felt wild and a little scary. He felt sexual and intense. He felt sad and yet joyful. I wasn't quite sure how to connect more deeply. His energy was vastly different and I felt like an imposter attempting to connect to Him, when He was so clearly not "mine" (or so I thought).
Part of my work with the Goddess in Her different forms is directly connected to how I hold my personal feminism. There has been one specific God who has had a lot of attention for about two thousands years now and it has felt like helping to bring the Goddess into the forefront was important. I wasn't interested in giving the patriarchy any more energy. And yet, my personal work has led me in a very interesting direction. Dionysus has shown me another way.
I had the opportunity to aspect this Deity during camp and I am forever changed by this experience. (Aspecting is the devotional practice of inviting Deity into our human bodies, it is similar to being "ridden" like you find in some Afro-Caribbean traditions, but slightly different.) I have a new God in my family and a new relationship to develop, what a surprise!
Here are some of my notes from my aspecting experience: As I walk around the room I can feel his energy in my body. It is different. I feel naked and want to glory in my own body. My hips are pressed forward as if walking with my cock. There is a bubbling up of laughter from deep within me, but it is not humorous, there is a hollow deep sadness, an ironic hilarity at humanity. A stone sits in my heart, heavy and I want to move to shift it. I feel strong and brave, my muscles tense as if expecting to take on a wild animal and I want to. His eyes (my eyes) seek out others in the room. The beauty of human life is tremendous. There is a building desire to touch each human present, to press my mouth against their lips, to rub my fingers across the gleaming human bodies, the longing is intense, deep, both sexual and something beyond. The humans speak, cry out, break down; they are enacting Rites of transformation and I (He) wants to help them. Tearing, ripping, destroying the over-culture; making space for the Gods to return, making space for humanity to survive. I lose track of myself, I am no longer present, it is only Him. Energy builds, pulsates, crests, rises; desire for touch overflows. A crown surrounds my heart, I might burst, body heat fuels these feelings, I want to lick my fingers taking in these thickness of this moment, I want to kiss flesh, I want to taste the human sweat, I want to howl at the moon. And then I do. I lose track of myself again...Several specific human animals call to Him and He hunts them. He loves them and wants to devour them. The ache, the passion! I hear words in His language and I understand them. Offering the gift of breath to another is a sexual exchange. Finally! He says. My heart expands beyond the barriers that I can hold and again I lost track of myself...Suddenly there is a tearing ache of release and saying good-bye is heart breaking. I (He) wants to sing, dance, laugh, rejoice, cry, moan, wail, fuck, and yet it is time to go.
His energy is vital, primal, powerful, full of madness and yet totally sane. His eyes are wild and they call you in. He is sexual in a way that feels liberating and safe, even when lost in its embrace. The Dionysian entourage is made up of wild women, who are so connected to their power they can pull a man apart with their bare hands, and yet they dance and sing and gently take care of Him. His power is heart opening, mind rending, transformative.
I didn't expect to go to Australia and come home having found God, and yet, that is exactly what I did.
Io Io Evohe Dionysus!!